Shifting Ambitions

May 19, 2026

Two kids kiss their mother — Photo by Yan Krukau from Pexels

By Natasha Duffin-Jones

As a millennial approaching motherhood, I was absolutely adamant that my life, my career, and my aspirations would remain the same after I became a mother. Raised in a period where we were told we could have it all—a career, a family and a thriving social life—at the time I could not envisage a stage where I would want to give up the career I had worked so hard to build.

For years, I had worked at building up my career in different leadership roles, taking on extra responsibilities, completing various professional qualifications, studying for a Master’s degree alongside teaching. My career felt like a huge part of my identity.

The emotional reality of returning to work

Then, along came my daughter. Throughout my maternity leave, I felt like a black cloud was hanging over me as I dreaded returning to work and leaving my daughter. Returning to work in a position with significant responsibilities, with a four-and-a-half-month-old baby, was one of the most challenging times of my life. I found that my focus was no longer on my career. Each day, I was just missing my baby, worrying about missing out, and trying to juggle a million tasks just to get through the day. I ached for the baby classes and playgroups that I was missing, and I no longer cared for the long meetings I felt I was simply enduring.

Matrescence: a profound transformation

The fact of the matter is that, as a mother, I had changed. My child was born, and I was different. Matrescence is defined as the profound, multi-dimensional process of transitioning into motherhood, encompassing physical, hormonal, emotional, and social changes. The term matrescence was coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s and represents a developmental passage similar to adolescence, often marked by shifts in identity, relationship changes, and a complex mix of vulnerability and growth.

Through this process, I fundamentally changed as a person. I wanted time with my children. I wanted to be the one to go to the playgroups and baby classes with them, to be the one to feed them, comfort them, and be there for them. I softened. I empathized. My heart grew. I saw the subtle shifts in people. I became kinder, more forgiving and I simply needed my children as much as they needed me.

Choosing family over work

My husband and I knew that we wanted two children and we were fortunate enough to quickly get pregnant with our second child. Then I was pregnant with a one-year-old and a busy job. I knew something had to give.

Luckily, things lined up as my contract was ending and the leadership roles were being restructured, so I decided to take a year out—something I would never have dreamed of before having children. I resigned from my job and stepped out into the unknown. Then, I had a baby and a toddler at home and life was, if I am honest, totally crazy. My memory of that whole year is of it being a bit of a whirlwind! Balancing naps, feeding, playgroups, baby classes, meltdowns and more was overwhelming and also deeply lonely at times.

I absolutely loved being a stay-at-home-mom, but I also missed using my brain. Fortunately, I managed to find various ways to keep myself sane, such as leading playgroups and writing articles for BAMBI, making friends and organising playdates with other moms, starting my toddler and baby yoga classes, and finding some brief time for myself with weekly workouts with mom friends.

Still it was hard for me. For so long a part of my worth, in my mind, was attached to my efficiency and productivity, and these concepts were no longer part of my world. Moreover, asking my husband for money was just something I really struggled with after being financially independent for so long. While my time at home with my children was so precious to me, my own self-esteem and self-worth were pretty heavily impacted.

A surprising shift in perspective

After a year, we needed more financial stability, so I returned to cover teaching—teaching other teacher’s classes—for three days a week. Suddenly, I had a job, but not a career. Another shift in perspective I had not imagined.

Yet, this phase brought its own growth. Teaching across different classes and age groups helped me develop professionally, while the absence of planning, assessments, and administrative responsibilities made the work far less stressful. My daughter started school, and it was wonderful to be able to collect her from school and be involved in her life by supporting her through the transition as well as having more one-on-one time with my son before he started school.

The following year, I moved to four days a week and had a class of my own. By working four days a week, I was also able to take on a role with a small level of responsibility and this helped me evaluate how I wanted to grow as a professional and decide which areas I am most interested in. My passions have shifted towards supporting families and the pastoral care of children.

The value of a career pause

Neha Rauch coined the term “Power Pause”, reframing pausing a career for parenthood to empower parents to take a career break. As parents in the workforce, we can support mothers and fathers in taking a career break and returning to work by educating and empowering each other compassionately.

I have been a full-time working mother, a part-time working mother, and a stay-at-home mother and each role has its own challenges. There is no easy path, and everyone needs a different path depending on their family and financial situations.

For me, a career pause has been a powerful way of reframing my identity and goals—for both my family and myself. I am a better teacher because I am a parent. It is important that workplaces value the wealth of knowledge and skills that come with being a parent, while also supporting parents in pausing and redefining their careers.

My children are still very young, so maybe one day, I will feel the drive to achieve more, but for now, I am enjoying being present and learning to focus on the small valuable family moments which are quickly turning into memories.

About the Author

Natasha Duffin-Jones is a mother of two children, as well as an early years and primary teacher with a Masters Degree in Early Childhood, and a deputy designated safeguarding lead. She is also a children’s yoga teacher with her company, Story Time Yoga, specializing in teaching yoga with children’s stories developing literacy and emotional literacy. She likes visiting different places in Bangkok with her children and documenting their adventures on her Instagram page @bangkokmamayogi.