Potty Training and Other Milestones

By Sara Salam

As the start of a new academic year approaches, many parents focus on practical school-readiness skills such as eating and dressing independently, potty training, or separating comfortably from caregivers. Yet one of the most important ingredients for a successful transition is often overlooked: a child's sense of security.

Children thrive when they feel safe and supported. Major developmental milestones are not simply checklists to complete; they are significant transitions that require children to adapt to new expectations. When these changes happen in a familiar environment surrounded by trusted caregivers children are more likely to embrace them successfully.

The importance of timing

The weeks before a new school year begins are an ideal opportunity to focus on age-appropriate milestones. Starting these transitions at home allows children to learn new skills gradually, without the added pressure of adjusting to a new classroom, teacher, routine, and peer group. Imagine a child who is simultaneously learning to use the toilet, spending longer periods away from their parents, and navigating an unfamiliar school environment. Even for the most resilient child, this would be a significant amount of change to navigate all at once. By introducing these milestones before school begins parents can help reduce stress and build confidence.

Why security comes before success

Children are naturally more willing to try new things when they feel emotionally secure. A child who trusts that a parent or caregiver will respond calmly to accidents during potty training is more likely to persist. Likewise, a child who has already practiced independent skills at home enters the classroom with a sense of competence rather than uncertainty. When children feel secure, they are better able to:

• Take healthy risks and try new skills
• Recover from mistakes and setbacks
• Adapt to changes in routine
• Build confidence and independence
• Form positive relationships with teachers and peers

In contrast, introducing too many changes together can leave children feeling overwhelmed, resulting in resistance, anxiety, or regression.

Focus on age-appropriate milestones

Every child develops at their own pace, but parents can use the period before the school year begins to encourage skills that are generally expected for their age group. One practice I have found particularly helpful is speaking with teachers before the end of the school year to understand the expectations of the next classroom. Knowing which skills children will be encouraged to develop can help parents use the break purposefully, focusing on building confidence rather than rushing to meet a checklist.

For preschoolers, this may include:

• Beginning or progressing with potty training
• Washing hands independently
• Following simple routines
• Dressing and undressing with minimal help
• Managing toileting independently
• Packing and unpacking their belongings
• Following multi-step instructions

For children moving into primary school, milestones may include managing personal belongings, following classroom routines, opening lunch containers independently, taking responsibility for simple homework tasks, and communicating their needs confidently to teachers.

The goal is not perfection. Rather, it is to provide children with opportunities to practice and gain familiarity with skills before they are expected to use them in a group setting.

Start at home, where mistakes feel safe

Home provides a safe space for children to practice new skills, make mistakes and learn without fear of judgment. A child learning to use the toilet at home can have accidents without embarrassment. A child learning to put on their shoes can take extra time without feeling rushed.

By practicing at home, parents create a safe environment where children can develop skills through repetition, encouragement, and patience. This foundation makes it easier for children to then transfer those skills to the classroom.

Progress over pressure

Perhaps the most important reminder for parents is that reaching milestones is not a race. Children are more likely to succeed when they feel supported rather than pressured. Celebrate small achievements, maintain consistent routines, and remember that confidence grows one step at a time.

School readiness is not simply about what children can do; it is about how they feel while doing it. When children feel secure and confident in their abilities, they are far more likely to embrace new challenges and thrive. The strongest foundation for any milestone is not pressure or perfection; it is the security of knowing that someone is beside them every step of the way.

About the Author

Sara Salam is a mother to energetic boy–girl twins who keep her on her toes and regularly challenge her ideas about patience, boundaries, and quiet. She writes about parenting as she learns it—one day, one mistake, and one small win at a time.