Coping With Loss and Bereavement

By Claudia Gomes

In life, we will all go through many different types of loss. It could be the loss of a loved one, a relationship, a job, an identity, an image of ourselves, a physical possession, along with many other forms of loss.

The reality is that we will all need to process losses, but we know that everyone processes bereavement in different ways. Grief is deeply personal, each person moves through it in their own way and on their own timeline. The stages can vary, and there is no one-size-fits-all process. 

Although we will all grieve at some point in our lives, the way we respond to it can make all the difference. 

What bereavement really is

Bereavement is often a topic of discussion among friends, and these conversations can help us understand that we all move through grief in the way we need to. Grieving is a very individual process, and we will all experience it in different ways.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross developed a framework that helps us understand the five stages of grief. These stages are not linear, and we may experience all of them or only some. There is no timetable. People can grieve for days, months, or even years. Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief are:

Denial: When we struggle to believe what happened is real. 
Anger: When the pain starts to surface, and is often directed toward ourselves, others, or the situation.

Bargaining: When we start asking “what if” or “if only” questions. For example: “If I had worked more hours, maybe I wouldn’t have lost my job.”
Depression: When we begin to process the loss, allowing sadness and other emotions to come through.
Acceptance: When we reach a point of understanding and are ready to move forward into the next chapter of our lives.

Each stage requires different types of care and can bring both emotional and physical symptoms. Grief can manifest as fatigue, insomnia, tension in the body, and a general sense of heaviness. It is not always easy to recognize which stage we are in, as sometimes they overlap. 

The reality of coping (not fixing)

We often want to move through grief as fast as possible, but there is a need to go through it so that we can reach the other side feeling more balanced within ourselves.

It is not about fixing grief—it is about learning how to cope while you are grieving. It is okay not to be okay. It is okay to keep going even when you are not feeling your best. 

The waves of feelings, tiredness, insomnia, disbelief, anger, sadness, will not be easy, but you are more than capable of handling it. And if it becomes overwhelming, you can always seek support from professionals who can guide you.

Our lives do not stop because we need to grieve. Life continues. We adjust ourselves to manage everything that is happening at the moment. We need to normalize the inconsistencies and imperfections. 

The hidden struggle–living while grieving

Life moves on. We go back to work. We return to our routines. But we know it is not the same, because our thoughts and feelings are not the same. We may disconnect emotionally or over-function to avoid dealing with difficult feelings that surface from time to time: the crying, the missing, the frustration, the emptiness, the loneliness, the numbness, the negativity.

We often feel pressure from the world to move on faster, to be okay now. People want to support us and bring positivity to the situation. However, as those who have experienced loss understand, other’s words do not change how you feel, there words can’t make you ready to transform and adapt to your new reality.

Emotional experiences in bereavement

Grief can generate many different emotional experiences:

Guilt: We may judge ourselves harshly, believing we are not coping well enough or moving forward quickly enough. 

Anger and confusion: As we adjust to a new reality that we did not choose.

Deep sadness and emptiness: As we remember that things are no longer the way they used to be.

Relief: This can appear when we begin to reach acceptance, but it can also bring guilt as we feel bad for being okay again.

All of these emotions are part of the process. What supports us most is not judging what we feel when emotions arise. Our feelings are not wrong. They are a compass that helps expand our understanding of ourselves and what our loss means to us.

It also helps to slow down your expectations and quiet the internal voice that says you should know what you are doing. Believe me, you don’t. And that is okay.

Be there for yourself during the process and adjust to your needs as they arise. Create space, internally and externally, to say goodbye, to let go, and to allow a new version of you to emerge.

Ask for help when you need it. Take time alone when you need it. Breath. Journal. Reflect. Cry. Talk to yourself. Walk. Take a bath. Above all take care of yourself with kindness and patience.

Grief at work

Not everyone is ready to deal with your grief. They may try to protect themselves, give advice, push you away, ignore the situation, talk about their experiences or try to turn everything into a positive. This does not mean they are bad people. It often happens because they lack emotional awareness and do not know how to handle emotions.

Workplaces are often environments where emotions are not openly addressed. They may not feel like safe spaces to process what you are going through. Do not be discouraged. Not all environments are designed to support grief.

We also need to remember that every culture deals with grief differently. Some are open and expressive. Others celebrate life. Some remain quiet to avoid discomfort.

Living with loss (not “getting over it”)

If we are grieving something, it means it mattered. Grief is not about closing a chapter completely, but about integrating that experience into who we are, with gratitude for what it represented in our lives and then learning to live without it.

We slowly get used to the absence. It is not about forgetting, but about missing without falling apart. It becomes a different kind of missing, a softer one, a more integrated one. 

When we learn to live with absence, we begin to understand our own strength. Our capacity to start over again. Confidence is built through action. When we show ourselves that we can go through something difficult, we begin to trust ourselves more deeply.

Closing reflection

We never truly know what someone is going through at any given moment. Be compassionate with yourself and with others. 

Grief comes in seasons. Let them move through you with care. There will be good days and hard days. Some moments will feel heavier than others.

Give yourself what you need. Tell others what you need. Allow yourself to receive support. You are not alone. There is always someone within reach, or a professional who can support you.

Loss can be painful, but it can also be transformative, especially when you are open to the lessons it brings. Change is inevitable. Grief is part of life. Trust, you will be okay.

About the Author

Claudia Gomes is an expert in Emotional Intelligence and Intercultural Awareness, and an ICF-certified Level 2 Transformative Coach. With 20 years of international experience across Spain and Thailand, 17 of them based in Bangkok, she specializes in bridging cultures, strengthening human connections, and fostering meaningful global collaboration. Contact Claudia at: contact@claudiagomes.coach; linkedin.com/in/claudiagomes-coach/